Doc Meek

Posts Tagged ‘“gut feelings”’

Medical problems? Relationship issues? Learning problems?

Often we seek expert advice to help us solve or mitigate these situations that are not easy for us.

This makes sense. Experts and specialists often have abundant knowledge and practical experience that makes their input very valuable.

There is a caution here though.

If we just “collapse” our own thinking and feelings and rely totally upon expert opinion, we may turn out to be unwise. We need to keep ourselves connected to the process of decision-making. We need to engage our own brains.

Connect. Consult trusted friends. Use common sense. If we are believers, ponder and pray.

Experts provide essential services in our society, and carry with them vast helpfulness.

Paradoxically, experts also carry a limited point of view, limited and narrowed by the very expertise they have labored so hard to obtain.

Whenever I was working with children with learning problems, and parents became superbly frustrated by the contrasting and sometimes conflicting advice from various learning experts and learning specialists, I made sure to remind the parents, especially the Moms:

“Yes, it can be maddening when you can’t pin down what is to be done exactly, with and for, your child.

“Remember that irrespective of what the experts say, including me, you [Mom] are the final arbiter of what will happen for your child. Who knows the child better, the newly-arrived expert on the scene, or you, who have known the child from birth?

“And before birth.

“Frustrating as it is to face, you [Mom] are the final authority, the best expert on what to do, or how to act, in relation to your child and your child’s learning problems.

“For example, even if I recommend something good, that seems to work well for other children, if it doesn’t sit right with you [Mom], it probably won’t work.

“If you [Mom] are not comfortable with the expert’s recommendation, there are two reasons why it probably won’t work well:

“(1) You are probably right, in the case of your child, irrespective of how well the advice may have worked for other children; each child is unique and a recommendation that has worked well for other children is not necessarily the answer for your child, if that’s the way you feel about it.

“(2) Even if the expert’s recommendation would, theoretically, seem workable for your child, it still probably won’t work, if you don’t feel right about it. Your thoughts and feelings will be broadcast to the child even if you don’t say a single word. Children know how their mothers feel.

“Children have really good ‘radar.’

“So, Mom, like it or not, your actual and intuitive knowledge of your child often reigns superior to what others may think.”

Moms have really good ‘radar’ too!

Happy Mothering!

Doc Meek, April 27, 2010

Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA; South Jordan, Utah, USA