Doc Meek

Archive for April, 2010

Photo from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radio ………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Unhappiness is a learned behavior

I was listening to CBC Radio Canada this morning (it may have been the “Broken Social Scene” program) and someone said:

“It is easy to be unhappy; it is not easy to be happy.”

True.

Both unhappiness and happiness are learned behaviors.

The news is almost always negative

If you listen to the news upon awakening each day and watch the news just before you retire, you are probably reinforcing the learned behavior of distress about the harsh realities “out there.” If you work at this (and most of us do), we are chronically upset and unhappy. You may even wish you could run away.

The problem is, “Everywhere you go, there you are.”

Once we internalize external realities, we tend to carry them with us wherever we go.

“Carry” is the operative word. “Drop them” is the operative solution.

You have little or no control over the realities “out there,” the external circumstances if you like.

You cannot control the weather “out there.”

The weather inside your head

You can control the weather inside your head, in your brain circuits. Here you do have control.

You’ve learned well how to be not happy. It’s easy. You may not have learned how to be happy . . . yet.

Marci Shimoff, in her book Happy for No Reason, gives us insight on how to begin to escape the tyranny of external circumstances. She interviewed all kinds of people from all walks of life and selected what she came to call her “Happy Hundred,” because they seemed to have learned how to be happy, even in our not-so-pleasant world.

Marci’s “Happy Hundred” had very little in common, except that they had learned how to be happy. One of these ‘Happy Hundred,” when asked how he did his seeming miracle, responded readily:

“I am grateful for everything; I have no complaints whatsoever.”

I was so stunned when I read this I was in shock.

I remembered my legacy as an Irishman:

” ‘E don’t know what ‘e wants, and e’s not gonna be happy ’til ‘e gets it.” 😮

I vowed then and there that if this guy could do this outrageous thing (be happy), I could learn how to do it too!

Turns out this guy actually lives this credo; he actually walks his talk. Imagine! Grateful for everything, good and not good. His unwavering conviction is as follows:

(1) Gratitude about everything (“good” and “bad”) keeps him from departing from happiness; he simply waits for the upside lesson to come out of a downside event. And he also simply waits for the downside aspect of every upside event. Calmness prevails either way.

(2) No complaints, either way, keeps him bulletproof. No complaints, no unhappiness.

Does this guy live in a cave? No. He very much lives in the real world, and observes, if you ask him:

“You can’t do anything about most external problems anyway,” says he. “And if  you can do something, do it; no point in getting upset; doesn’t help solve anything, as far as I can see.” This guy was well liked of course. No shortage of friends.

Me? I’m working on it. Working on what? My shortage of friends. 😮

Doc Meek, April 30, 2010

Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA; South Jordan, Utah, USA

I remember being assigned to a school where most of the students were failing, most of the time. The idea was to work with the teachers to discover ways of teaching/learning that would decrease the failure rate.

There were two problems that we needed to address, both of them deeply embedded in the familiar way of doing things:

(1) When the teacher would ask a question, none of the students would risk raising their hands because of the fear of giving an answer that was not exactly right, and

(2) When the teachers were asked to experiment with new behaviors, with new ways of teaching, with new ways of conducting student learning activities, the teachers did not want to risk trying and not getting it exactly right.

What to do?

The first thing we did was to put up a large poster in every classroom:

“IT’S OK TO MAKE MISTAKES HERE; THAT’S HOW WE LEARN.”

This was from Dr. Merrill Harmin’s book entitled Strategies to Inspire Active Learning: Complete Handbook, p. 51.

It didn’t help much. Everyone was still afraid to make mistakes.

Finally, I held a teacher training session, during which I was supposed to urge them to take some risks, do something different (anything!) because the failure rates were so high that we couldn’t possibly do much worse, no matter what we tried.

This had been tried before with little success, so I decided to practice what I preach (risking doing something different, risking making mistakes, risking doing it not exactly right).

During my presentation I made a complete fool of myself, trying on ridiculous behaviors and using wildly amusing analogies, acting out goofy scenarios in which I was not maintaining the decorum expected of a professional teacher trainer.

At first there was stunned silence. Shock. Dismay.

Then, as the humor increased, the teachers began to relax a little. Then they started to smile a little. Then they couldn’t help themselves, as they began to laugh to the point of laughing themselves silly.

It was a breakthrough. Some of the teachers began to risk new behaviors. The others followed their lead.

The students, seeing the teachers willing to risk, began, ever so slowly, ever so hesitantly, to risk trying to answer questions when they were unsure of the answers.

Slowly the school turned the dismal failure record around.

The majority of students began to taste success and then deliver it more consistently.

Bravo!

Doc Meek, April 29, 2010, Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA

P.S. Values.com has created a beautiful billboard on this topic. Copy and paste the following website address into your browser line:

http://www.values.com/your_billboards/7162

Amazingly . . . one teacher can do quite a lot

In a book called Strategies to Inspire Active Learning: Complete Handbook, designed to help teachers develop classrooms where students are more involved their own learning, Dr. Merrill Harmin (2002) reported a retrospective study done in Montreal, Canada.

The researchers located a neighborhood that was not good. It was known for its unemployment, poor housing, drug usage and violence. Then they located an elementary school in the middle of that neighborhood. No one expected anything good to come out of being educated in that school.

Sure enough, as the researchers located adults who had attended that neighborhood elementary school, going back over 25 years, they found that most of these adults were not in decent housing, were unemployed, and were suffering from addictions of various kinds.

Such negative findings were “predictable,” given the nature of this decadent neighborhood and the tough job teachers had in that school trying to provide a decent education for the children.

However, there were some nice surprises.

What did Miss “A” do?

Some adults who had attended this “hopeless” elementary school lived in decent housing, were employed and were not addicts. This was amazing, given the bad start they had in elementary school.

An even greater surprise awaited the researchers as they connected each adult back to the teachers they had had in this elementary school.

A very high percentage of the successful adults had all had one particular teacher in Grade One. They named her “Miss A” in their study.

“Miss A” was just a regular “ordinary” teacher. However, she did not accept the idea that a poor family and a bad neighborhood equaled education without hope. She defied the immediate evidence and concentrated on the children in her Grade One classroom

She couldn’t fix the families and she couldn’t fix the neighborhood, so she concentrated on what she could influence: every student that walked though her door and became a member of her class. She mentally reminded herself, every day, “No child is ever going to leave this classroom not knowing they have value.”

She concentrated on every child having dignity and respect, regardless of their behavior or academic performance. And she concentrated on the idea that every child could learn more and more, as time went on, about managing themselves, educationally and behaviorally. She helped them develop their own small community in her classroom, and they helped each other learn.

The story was told of a visitor to her class. She noticed that the kids were actively involved in their own learning, and not slouching and discouraged like so many of the other students in other classes. They seemed cheerful and bright. The visitor walked over to the desk of one particularly hard-working boy, looked at his excellent work, bent down and whispered in his ear:

“My . . . you are a smart boy.”

The boy looked up at the visitor, and said cheerfully:

“We’re all smart in here.”

Well said.

Doc Meek, April 28, 2010

Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA; South Jordan, Utah, USA

Medical problems? Relationship issues? Learning problems?

Often we seek expert advice to help us solve or mitigate these situations that are not easy for us.

This makes sense. Experts and specialists often have abundant knowledge and practical experience that makes their input very valuable.

There is a caution here though.

If we just “collapse” our own thinking and feelings and rely totally upon expert opinion, we may turn out to be unwise. We need to keep ourselves connected to the process of decision-making. We need to engage our own brains.

Connect. Consult trusted friends. Use common sense. If we are believers, ponder and pray.

Experts provide essential services in our society, and carry with them vast helpfulness.

Paradoxically, experts also carry a limited point of view, limited and narrowed by the very expertise they have labored so hard to obtain.

Whenever I was working with children with learning problems, and parents became superbly frustrated by the contrasting and sometimes conflicting advice from various learning experts and learning specialists, I made sure to remind the parents, especially the Moms:

“Yes, it can be maddening when you can’t pin down what is to be done exactly, with and for, your child.

“Remember that irrespective of what the experts say, including me, you [Mom] are the final arbiter of what will happen for your child. Who knows the child better, the newly-arrived expert on the scene, or you, who have known the child from birth?

“And before birth.

“Frustrating as it is to face, you [Mom] are the final authority, the best expert on what to do, or how to act, in relation to your child and your child’s learning problems.

“For example, even if I recommend something good, that seems to work well for other children, if it doesn’t sit right with you [Mom], it probably won’t work.

“If you [Mom] are not comfortable with the expert’s recommendation, there are two reasons why it probably won’t work well:

“(1) You are probably right, in the case of your child, irrespective of how well the advice may have worked for other children; each child is unique and a recommendation that has worked well for other children is not necessarily the answer for your child, if that’s the way you feel about it.

“(2) Even if the expert’s recommendation would, theoretically, seem workable for your child, it still probably won’t work, if you don’t feel right about it. Your thoughts and feelings will be broadcast to the child even if you don’t say a single word. Children know how their mothers feel.

“Children have really good ‘radar.’

“So, Mom, like it or not, your actual and intuitive knowledge of your child often reigns superior to what others may think.”

Moms have really good ‘radar’ too!

Happy Mothering!

Doc Meek, April 27, 2010

Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA; South Jordan, Utah, USA

I have written in previous blogs about the secrets of improving your reading comprehension and writing skills by using my Triple M (Make Mental Movies) protocol.

Here are some more secrets related to the Triple M for making writing assignments easier (and more fun!).

When teaching this writing assignment protocol to teachers, students, or classes, I often say:

“Remember to put your imaginary screen straight out in front of you, sitting on something solid, like a table or a piece of concrete, or fasten it to something solid, like a wall or a tree.

“Why do you want to sit your screen on something solid? Or fasten your screen to something solid?

“So your screen will stay still. So your screen will stay at about your eye level or preferably above.

“It keeps your screen in place, where you can always see it easily.

The best place is out in front, straight out in front, or a little higher, because your mind can see it easier if it is straight out in front, or a little higher [gesturing with my hands, showing my own screen sitting solidly held out in front, a little above eye level].”

If you don’t have your imaginary out-in-front-of-you screen resting on something solid, or attached to something solid, it will tend to drift downwards and pretty soon you will be looking down at your imaginary screen, instead of looking straight out or preferably a little upwards.

Who cares if your imaginary screen drifts downwards?

Your brain does.

It learns best when the imaginary screen is straight out in front, or even better a little higher than that.

Looking down at your imaginary screen is great for feelings, and not so great for facts, such as in a writing assignment.

If the group is “shy” about experimenting when they do not have familiarity with the Triple M (Make Mental Movies)  process yet, I may say:

“Let me show you how I do this.”

Then  I close my eyes and think out loud for the group, letting them know where my screen is (gesturing, pointing straight out in front, a little above my eye level), and telling them what is appearing on my screen now. If nothing is appearing on my screen, I tell them,  “It doesn’t matter, I will just pretend to see the pictures on my screen.”

Then I continue to think out loud, sharing my movie pictures with the class (beginning, middle, end).

Then I re-wind [gesturing with my hand in a small circle above my head to show I am re-winding the movie].

Then I play the movie to see how I like it.

Then I think out loud about how I am fixing or changing the beginning, middle or end.

Re-wind again [with upright hand gesturing in a small circle].

All of this before ever picking up a pen to write. 😮
Quick and easy though, when you have some fun with it
a time or two.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It is good to use your brain’s intellectual power, your capability for logic and reason. These gifts are your  friends.

If these, and only these, are used exclusively, however, your highest and best potential is being shortchanged.

In our over-scheduled, westernized life, we sometimes miss out on the great gifts and blessings that await us on the other side of busy.

Reach for quietness, even stillness, for at least some portion of your day or week, and you will be richly rewarded, not only internally. Others will notice your gentleness and be less strained themselves.

I think it was Marci Shimoff who said, “Incline your mind to happiness.” Think of it. She wrote a much-treasured book entitled Happy for No Reason, and it is in a sense worth its weight in gold. We think we have to work with might and main to make external circumstances such that they will bring us happiness. Then when the external circumstances don’t quite work out, or even come crashing down upon us, then we feel we are obliged to be unhappy.

I remember a church leader confiding to us in a meeting one time:

“When I was raising my family, I certainly didn’t do everything exactly right. I did try to instill one concept with my children: that they had the capability to enhance active involvement in their own emotional life.

“When something happened that was distressing or disturbing to them, I would sometimes quietly say:

“You could be upset; and it is not mandatory.” 😮

Incline your brain to calmness and kindness and it will thank you forever.

You will not only learn better, and be in better physical and emotional health, others will be happier to be around you. 😮

My wife Jeannette is like that. People love being around her.

Blessings, Doc Meek

Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA; South Jordan, Utah, USA

Image from: spacesuityoga.wordpress.com/

I just spent an hour with a man who specializes in solving chronic “unsolvable” medical problems. He is an MD with a wall full of specialization certificates. More importantly, he is highly knowledgeable, reliable, honest, trustworthy, dedicated, relentless, and kind. He also has a wry understated sense of humor. A rare human being.

He is more like a “Sherlock Holmes” of mysterious illnesses and their causes, than a medical practitioner, although of course he is both. Some of these mysterious illnesses involve both the body and the brain, and the patients may suffer from various learning problems or psychological problems, in addition to physical issues.

Detection of toxicity in the body or brain not easy

Initial investigation of a mysterious chronic illness may involve the standard blood and urine laboratory tests with which most of us are familiar. If exposure to a toxic substance has been relatively recent, there may be good evidence of the toxin in the blood serum or urine.

However, if the exposure is from an earlier time in the patient’s life, the body has usually tried to protect the person by removing the toxin from immediate circulation and sequestering it in some organ or bone or muscle or fatty tissue, including the brain.

It takes specialized testing, in some cases highly specialized testing, to determine whether we have dangerous toxins sequestered in our body or our brain.

Why is it so important to know that poisons can “hide out” in our body and brain?

Because many a person has been deluded into thinking they have no serious toxic issues (based on lab results showing no toxins in the blood or urine), when in fact their body or brain could be loaded with mercury or lead, both highly toxic substances. And mercury or lead must be removed from the body and the brain, if the person is to recover normal health.

And urgently to the point, mercury and lead must be removed safely, or the toxic issues are worsened, not bettered.

Even MDs are sometimes misled when lab results show no toxicity in the blood or urine. They assure the patient that s/he has no tested-for toxins, and may show the patient the lab results as “proof.”

This is kind of like showing dry, caked/cracked  desert earth as “proof” of no rain, after the flash flood has wreaked great havoc and all drained away. 😮

Nutrient deficiencies are also a clue to brain dysfunction

The first order of business is to drench the body/mind system in the nutrients and micro-nutrients they need for optimum functioning. Obviously, any general or specific nutrient deficiencies would be addressed at an early stage of any investigation of human health issues.

Second, avoid further toxic exposures to all incoming toxicities humanly possible to avoid.

Then, slowly and safely, detoxify. Many people try to detoxify first, before strengthening the body and this is usually a mistake unless it is an emergency, a matter of life and death, or almost that. The reason is that detoxification taxes the body/mind’s resources and we want the body/mind system to have optimal power to handle the detox.

After the toxin has been slowly and safely removed, the patient must continue to feed the body and brain the essential micro-nutrients required for health (toxin or no toxin).

Prescribed drugs may be offered as well, to assist, and these need to be given very careful consideration, with great attention being paid to possible detrimental side effects (often ignored or glanced at cursorily).

I like to err on the side of caution and conservatism when it comes to drugs. In some cases, they are essential and life-saving, and hopefully temporary. In too many cases, however, side effects can be damaging to future welfare and drug dependency is engendered, even in cases where superior alternatives exist.

Obviously there is wisdom in getting a second opinion. And a third maybe, remembering always what my friend says:

“It’s best not to ask a barber (only) whether you need a haircut or not.” 😮

Recently, I was delighted to see in a book I was reading [Dr. Edward Howell (1995), Enzyme Nutrition: The Food Enzyme Concept] this healthy statement: “It is a sign of wisdom, not cowardice, to seek a second or third opinion.”

Learning strategies must be engaged

Beyond the healthy biological steps just mentioned, the person must take steps to teach his body and mind how to work properly again, much like a person would need to learn to walk again, after having a leg in a cast for a lengthy period of time.

And in some cases, where the person has never had good health, it is a case of learning for the first time how to manage the body and the brain properly, for good health and for good function. Such new learning strategies are essential, as a vital adjunct to good physical health for both body and mind.

Happy cognitive functioning!

Doc Meek

Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA; and South Jordan, Utah, USA

I previously wrote about the fun “Triple M Strategy” (Making Mental Movies): the easy way to increase reading comprehension and writing skills.

I did not remember to share some other aspects of Making Mental Movies.
I say to young and old alike:

“Some of you already know how to make mental movies and you
are doing it all the time, even if you haven’t thought about it yet.

“People who make mental movies of what they are seeing or
hearing or reading can easily remember what they have seen
or heard or read about, because they don’t have to remember
what they saw or heard or read about.

“These lucky people just re-wind the movie and play it in their
mind (projected out on to a screen in front of them, a small screen
or a big screen). These lucky people can then easily see what it
was they saw or heard or read about. It is easy to answer questions
when you can see your own movie on your own private screen
and see what happened.

“Hey, you don’t have to remember anything! Just look, see, say! 😮

What if you are not one of these lucky people who can make their
own movies and answer questions easily out of what they see on
their own private movie screen?

“Some people don’t know yet how to make movies in their head,
which they project outwards on to a screen in front of them. It
could be a smaller closer screen, or a bigger farther away screen..

“I used to spend a lot of time teaching people how to make their
own mental movies and project them out onto their own screen
in front of them.

“Then I discovered a big secret!

“It doesn’t matter whether you know how to make mental movies
or not. It doesn’t matter if you know how to project mental movies
out on to your own private screen in front of you.

“If you already know how to do this, great! You are lucky!

“If you don’t already know how to do this, it doesn’t matter!
You are just as lucky as the others! Wow. 😮

“If you don’t know how to make mental movies and project them
out on to a screen in front of you, just pretend!

“Just pretend!

“Pretending works just as well as if you already knew how! WOW!

Doc Meek

Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA; and South Jordan, Utah, USA

I responded to a teacher who suggested that I write about writing, to help her students:

Thank you for the suggestion! I’ve never tried to describe this in an email.

I have always felt I had to do it in person, to demonstrate in in order to get mutual understanding. So, here goes, responding to your suggestion to try this via email. I may not succeed, OK?

[It’s OK if I make mistakes; that’s how I learn.] – Classroom “TRUTH SIGN”
From page 51 of Dr. Harmin’s book entitled STRATEGIES TO INSPIRE ACTIVE LEARNING: Complete Handbook. (Published 1993, 1994, 1995, 1998, 2002.)

Here is what I say to an individual student, or a class, with whom I am working:

“OK, now I would like you to think about writing this story, essay [whatever].

“Remember, the first thing you do when you are going to write on the blank page in front of you, is to lay down your pen. Yes, whenever you have to write anything like this, first lay down your pen.

“Now, close your eyes and make a mental movie about what you are thinking of writing. If you don’t know yet what you are going to write about, close you eyes and just let mental pictures come to you of various things until you spot a picture that is interesting or appealing to you in some way, or that you like, and then make a mental movie about that.

“How to make a mental movie? Well, to keep it interesting, make it in color (say on your pretend screen out in front of you, out in front of your closed eyes, a comfortable distance from you). Make the screen farther away and huge if you wish, so you can see it clearly, or make it smaller and closer so you can still see it clearly. Whatever you like.

“If you know what you want to write about, make a mental movie of that. Have fun with this and remember that you can change it any way you want. It’s your movie… you’re the director… and you can create any kind of movie you want.

“Make it simple to start. It needs 3 parts.

“Have a beginning, a middle, and an end to your movie.

“Have fun with this. There is no limit to your imagination here.

“You could even add a sound track to make it more interesting, right?

“Do the sound track inside your head, just like the color movie, so your are
not bothering anyone else! :o)

“When you’ve done the beginning, the middle, and the end of your movie,
rewind it to the beginning, and watch it to see how it goes. If you like it,
rewind again, open your eyes, pick up your pen, and start writing out on
paper what you are seeing in your movie.

“Don’t try to remember everything. Just watch a little bit of the movie, write
a little of what you are seeing, watch a little bit more, write a little bit more,
and so on.

“That’s right, I am glad to see you taking the time to have fun creating
your movie before you write anything down on paper.

“If you don’t like the beginning of your movie, change it, rewind and play
it to see how it looks now, enjoying how this new beginning fits in with
your middle and your end.

“If you don’t like the middle of your movie, rewind and create a new middle.
Same for the end.

“OK, so let’s see how much fun we can all have with this!

“Hey, you can even star in your own movie if you want to. It’s your movie!

“You can always fix your movie up by rewinding and changing it any way
you like. It’s a lot easier than trying to do a re-write on paper, because you
can fix the movie very quickly in your mind.

“Your brain can work a lot faster than your hand and pen.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A Mom asked me, “How do you make reading comprehension go up?”

A teacher asked, “What steps can I take to help the students improve their memories of what they have read?”

The Triple M is the short answer:

“Make Mental Movies.”

Here is an excerpt of what I wrote to the teacher (which I also shared with the Mom):

Slow reading is symptomatic of inadequate comprehension in the reading process. When you slow down and read even slower (at first) and take the time to learn how to make pictures (still photos, and especially movies) in your mind’s eye as you slowly read forward now, you will find two astounding things happening:

(1) The brain quickly learns to make movies faster and faster as you persist in this initially slow process.

(2) Even when the initial reading is not fast, the movies dramatically increase comprehension and memory, so the brain quickly figures out, hey, I can go faster now. As the speed of reading and making movies simultaneously goes up, astoundingly and paradoxically, the comprehension and memory zoom up also.

Hey, try it with some simple “Dick and Jane” stuff initially and don’t even read a full sentence at first. Example:

“The black dog chased the red ball down the street,” is not read altogether to completion at first.

First you read only “The black dog…” and make a picture in your head of a black dog.

Then you read only “chased the red ball” and make a movie in your head of the black dog chasing the red ball.
Then you read “down the street” and make a movie with background now, if you haven’t already done that background part, and see the action!

Then, rewind the movie by twirling your hand around in the air in a tight circle, as if you were rewinding a video “manually.”
Smile and laugh, eh?

Then, as I say to my proteges that I am mentoring:

“Now remember, don’t remember everything;
just watch the movie and see what happens.” 😮

After they watch the movie, I ask them questions to see what their comprehension and memory is. I ask “sneak questions” like, “What is the dog running on?” Or, “What is in the background?” Or “What is in the sky above?” Or “What is in front of the dog?” Or “What is the dog running on?” Or
“Does the dog have a short tail or a long one?”

The beauty of this protocol and the questions is that everybody has different answers to the same “content” question, proving that individuality and vastly improved memory and comprehension go hand in hand.

Beautiful, eh?

Here’s the “goofy mantra”:

Go… slowly… even more slowly… at first.
Then as you patiently plod along… smile… at first… laugh… the pace picks up automatically…
slowly over time… and soon…

You are going a hundred miles an hour and memory and comprehension are beautiful, not to mention your movies.

Start slowly… very slowly… lots of time to learn to go fast!!! 😮

Love your initial lack of speed now . . . smile . . . laugh . . .

Have fun being a slow really fast learner. 😮

Doc Meek, Active Learning Specialist

Sherwood Park, Alberta, CANADA; South Jordan, Utah, USA